My mind was going crazy with the possibilities of what could happen if this amount of people turned ugly, knowing *I* was the one everyone would be turning to in the event of ...lets say... FUCKEN ANYTHING !!!!!!!!!

I`M THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT!!!!!!.....

So, there I was - paranoid, anxiety ridden and plain fucken scared!!!!

WAYYYYYYYYY too many people.
I was in "risk management" mode, assessing every person, conversation and situation for something that might turn to shit. I walked thru the CROWD for 15 minutes before I even spotted Dan at one stage. Fuck there were alot of people.

Oh and you know what? *me* in my infinate wisdom, after seeing the meek 20-30 guests we`d had earlier in the evening had decided that PYJAMAS would be the appropriate attire for this situation, after all I was hardly going to have to interact with them was I?
White pyjamas with little red skulls all over them. How much did I rock.

"Ok" my mind rationalised, "IF things stayed calm, there shouldn`t be a problem, everyone seemed to know eachother, there were small groups congregating in shadows here and there, but mostly people were dancing and having a good time."

All it had to do was stay good.

I went back inside andsat at the table, joined the conversation and again, started to relax.

I`d straightened up by then, too nervous and paranoid to be anything else, I leaned back against Ben sighing, reaching up to put my hands around his neck.
He groaned "You`re fucken kidding me", pushed me aside and got to his feet.
It took me a minute to realise his actions weren`t intended for me, I turned around to see the person they were intended for.

You`ve GOTTO be fucking kidding ME.

Enter Shano.

As the story unfolds, Shano had been like a big bro to one of Dans mates, lived with his family for 6 years, was looked upon as a part of the family, blah, blah. He`d been here once or twice with Dans mate, I didn`t like him, I can pick a crack head a mile away, I can do without that shit around my kid, Dan wasn`t everly fond of him anyway.

 Beside the fact he was 22, I just thought he should have better things to do then hang with a pile of young kids.

Anyway, it came to light a few weeks ago that Shano had raped the 13 year old sister of Dans mate, he made that little girlie do some terrible shit to him. Fucken dog, but anyway...........the boys had spent hours talking about what they`d do to him if they got the chance, none of it pretty and I know now, none of them empty threats.

And you know what, he was standing in my fucken kitchen.

The urge to assume the fetal position and start rocking began to overwhelm me.
This was fucked.