I`m so upset at ignrance today. It hurts my head.

A bit of a background on my beliefs and how I raise my children.

i`m an out and proud Witch, everyone that knows me, knows it, everyone that doesn`t knows anyway, I live in a small place and have been known as the "Mundoolun Witch", which never bothered me or anyone else, those who get to know me, become friends those who don`t aren`t meant to.

Ok, I`ve never professed to be a good person, I try to be a good person, I DO be the person that is called upon in given situations. I have been a terrible person in certain times of my life, but that`s all moulded who I am today.

I`ve seen some bad bad places and know some bad bad things. I also know alot of "bad" people, whom I have the repsect of associate with if I need to. Unfortunately through the life I`ve lived, my kids have been exposed to some pretty horrible situations as well, I can`t change that, but I can do everything in my power to lessen any future badness in their lives if that makes sense.

So on saying that, I don`t believe in the world, I don`t believe in media, and I indulge neither. If something is meant to come into my world, it will find its way. Therefore, we don`t watch commercial television, read nrespapers, listen to the news on the radio or indulge in gossip.

My kids watch movies and read books, I`m extremely particular about what they watch on the tv, they have enough imagery in their heads without adding any more trauma to it. I refuse to allow them to watch horror movies, I`ve seen one or two in my life and I can`t see what favours that kind of imagery in your head can do you, other than give your imagination ammunition when you`re alone or in the dark, and what a horrible thing, not being able to enjoy a quiet dark night alone without worrying about "boogey men" ya know?

In my world there are no wars, no rapes, no babies dying and no statistics. In my world are the people who have been guided to us for whatever reasons, information that we need to know finds its way to us, etc etc.

Everyone who knows me, knows this is how I am. My kids know no different so it doesn`t bother them theyknow when they`re 18 they can watch what they like, in their own space, but by then hopefully they won`t have an interestin anyting but their immediates as well. Alot of people say it`s an ignorant ppoint of view, I don`t care. I`m a compassionate, kind, good person and I don`t want to know about babies being left in waste bins, what good is that doing my mind? It breaks my heart. I have enough pain inside of me to deal with in this life time, I don`t want the pain of something I can`t do anything about. And how disrespectful, they don`t show good people with nice gardens on the news, they  don`t want to know you unless you`re admist a tradgedy, for rating and fucking entertainment.

When my brother drowned, the media were sickening. His best friend hadn`t been told the news yet, he answered the phone to the local newspaper who asked how he felt about Kennys death? It totally destroyed him to find out like that. WHY did the rest of the nation need to know what happened to Ken? It was and is a personal family thing, and suddenly people are watching my family fall to pieces as they watch the evening news, discussing it over their dinner.

That`s just wrong.

So yeah, I don`t do television, media in any way shape or form and I won`t have my kids exposed to it. Life`s hard enough without worrying about something thats not only hearsay, but none of their business.

OK. So knowing that, I was with my ex husband for almost 5 years, we`d known eachother for 2 years prior tp that, we were in an online pagan community together, all that stuff right.

We break up for a few reasons, he isn`t my girls dad, but he does love them, so he keeps in touch with them, and has them stay over at his place every now and then.

He got himself a girlfriend and I`m happy for him, I hope it works for him. He`s taken my girls to meet her, they`ve had outings together etc.

Oh and I also don`t let my girls out of my sight, although we live in a small rural area, we`re 40 minutes from the capital city in our state and it`s not the nicest place in the world, there`s still a boys face on the pizza boxes up here, he went missing 3 xmas`s ago, he was waiting near his home to catch the school bus, he also lived less than an hour from us.

I will never put myself in a situation where I have to meet parents of lost kids at a support group, I don`t ever want to be one of those parents who wished they had of givem their kid a lift to school, watched them more carefully in the shopping centre or just plain said no when they wanted to go out.

I never put myself in a position where i have to say "I wish I didn`t do that". Particularly where my kids are concerned.

SO, on the Xtian New Year, Craig (the ex hubby) had my girls for the night, they were staying at his girlfriends cos she has a daughter the same age as Nat.

When they got home they told me about a man in the street that asked them for help, he`d been beaten up quite badly and needed to get out of the neighbourhood, my girls were heartbroken, they cried with this stranger and went inside to tell Craig, Craig told them not to worry about it and to go back outside. The man was still out there, peaking right out. Nat said she grabbed hold of a tree cos she felt sad for him but she was scared she was going to be stolen.

The many problems I have with this are;

1. What the fuck were my kids doing out in the street on NEW YEARS EVE BY THEMSELVES

2. Why on earth would Craig send them back out there?

This guy could have been legitamitely beaten up and was scared, he could have also taken an acid trip or something and was tripping out, he could have just beaten up someone himself and got beaten back and was on the run, he could have broken into a house and killed someone......fuck he could have been anything and Craig not only put my girls in a position to be confronted by that, HE SENT THEM BACK INTO IT!!!!!

So I decide to wait a day or two before I contact Craig, otherwise I`d just have sounded like an irrational idiot, and I needed him to understand the importance of looking after my girls, I was that furious I wanted to beat him with my bare hands.

THEN they also tell me, Craig let them WALK TO THE FUCKING SHOPS BY THEMSELVES! In the middle of suburbia, in the fucken city, on New Years eve, ACROSS A ROAD AND UP A LANEWAY FOR FUCK SAKE.

Angry doesn`t even describe how I felt, but I let it go and calmly but firmly told him if he ever jeopardised my girls like that again, he couldn`t have them again, not ever.

So I get over that hurdle, this weekend just gone he wanted them for the night, I gave the hugest lecture in the world, even threw in a few threats and was happy that it had finally sunk into him.

Ya reckon?

This time my girls come home to tell me that they hadn`t been anywhere alone, hadn`t been left alone because they watched movies most of the night and day they were there, excellent I say, what movies did you look at?

Bare in mind this man KNOWS THE WAY I THINK, he was married to me for 4 fucking years.

Nats favourite movies are care bears and the bratz, Beks are Brats and teen love stories, High School Musical, stuff like that.

This weekend Craig let them watch a movie called THE GRUDGE, I haven`t seen it, I know people who have and I was advised not to cos my mind is g rated when it comes to that shit, so I`m terrified of the movie without even seeing it, and my fucken ten year old tells me about an evil spirit that drowned a little girl in the bath!

FOR FUCK SAKE.

He just raped my daughters mind, she will never get that imagery out of her head, she didn`t ask for it to be put there and now she`s confused cos she didn`t think there were evil spirits out there, as they`ve learnt to be ascended you have to be pure, we cast protection spells against those who aren`t, the spirit in this movie is apparently a little girl and Nat can`t get her head around why a little girl could be evil.

I don`t understand this man really, it`s as if he`s in the running for the worlds greatest fucken idiot competition. I hate calling people names, cos I believe its the actions that warrant the names not the person, but fuck i`m beginnning to doubt it with this mortal really.

I need to calm down before I react, I just don`t know how. He just fucked with my kids heads yaknow?

My kids love the dark, now they`re going to be suspicious of it.

Craig is not only a disrespectful person who went against my wishes, his actions are making him appear to be a complete fuckwit.

I don`t know what I`m going to do yet, but I`m not letting it go lightly, he just wants to hope Karma is in a better mood than I am.