I don`t care this morning. I`m keeping my car, I don`t care if the truck gets fixed first, it`s just trivial shit. I like my car, I own my car and I`m keeping my car. I`ll wait till tax time and get it done.

Too easy.

The planets did me no favours yesterday and I know it was an Aquarian thing because SHyla`s an Aquarian as well (Cap cusp), and she was a wee bit irrational about shit yesterday as well.

Ultimately I don`t care, if I have a vehicle I can do what I have to do, big deal what kind it is, it`s better than nothing and I know that when I AM without transport I`d drive a ride on mower if I had to ya know?

So I`ve come to the conclusion that I am a brat, I do have brat attacks, but I get over it. Nobody likes not getting their own way, it`s the human in us.

I have a beautiful roof over my head, the choice of vehicles which most people don`t have and a great family. I have waterfalls less than an hours drive from me and I`m surrounded by complete natural beauty, what kind of person can complain about that?

Me apparently. I need to pull my head in and THAT`S the problem.

The Universe isn`t out to get me, I`m a Divine Child of the Goddess and sometimes the lessons we learn seem f*cked at the time but always a greater good comes from it once you search within, not without. The Goddess doesn`t give a f*ck what kind of car I drive.

I`ve been caught up in the material world, I`ve reacted to being busted arse broke the same way as I did when I did live that life - defensively and aggressively. Instead of acknowledging that I may have contributed to the problem and dealt with it, making sure it doesn`t happen again, which is a plan I put into motion this morning.

I feel peaceful and humbled this morning.

And Blessed with Clarity.

I DO acknowledge that I am a brat and there will be times that I react like one, but I`m forever learning, so maybe next time I`m confronted with a situation I`ll be a bit more rational about the whole thing, especially if it`s a material thing.

Success isn`t that important. It`s noce to be comfortable so you can focus on what you`d like, but that`s not being balanced. You must have the conflict in order to appreciate the peace.

*nods*

I think I got it this time, I`m f*cken glad too cos I`m over feeling like shit and wondering what I`ve done wrong. My reactions have been wrong, nothing else.

Lessons present themselves to teach not hinder, no lesson hinders if you learn from it.

It`s personal choice, my life desire is to learn every lesson I need to learn, to grow every inch I`m meant to and to leave this life with completion, not a half arsed effort that drags my arse back through it, I have a feeling I`ve been through this particular life quite a few times.

I`m not ****ing it up this time.

Something else that I find interesting is I threw one of the rings Lia had given me yesterday, as I was walking home from the breakdown my right hand was swollen, like I`d been bitten by something, the ring started burning and I just got a feeling that there wasn`t alot of positive energy happening from her direction, dunno why, but I knew I had to get the ring off and quick, so I ripped it off and threw it into the creek as we walked by, I think it actually landed on the bank, I`m not sure, I didn`t watch, I just watched long enough to see it disapear and acknowledge that any power energy it was carrying was now non existant. When I got home I took down the picture I have up of us both at the circle. I`m still not 100% sure why, but it felt right.

Last night I did a really full on energy return, I mirrored myself but I also followed all cords back to where they had manifested from, they weren`t very pretty places, but the minds that own the energy now have it back. Their problem now and I don`t feel bad about it either, I never send negative cords out, it`s wrong but it also makes you vulnerable, something I don`t do.

What I DID do was have to much Faith in peoples energy, I forgot that not everyone is a good person.

THEY forgot that I can be a very dark person, I prefer the shadows truth be known. I don`t pretend to be a good person and I don`t pretend to be a bad person, I walk in whichever energy is required of me at the time.

It`s Winter, it`s cold, Persephone has descended, that`s requirement enough for me.