This is going to take so much more than I thought. It fascinates me how one point of existence can be traced back to its origin.
How does existance have an origin?
What IS existence?
Energy manifestation.
You have to have the energy to manifest, yet you have to manifest the energy before you can have it. Just a different way of wondering which came first, the chicken or the egg.
I didn`t realise until I started trying to explain "the Ritual" that I could trace so many manifestations in my llife back to their actual point of existence.
Nothing is ever simple with me, but looking back from where I sit right now, never were truer words spoken by this "We are the Weavers, We are the Web, WE are the Spyders, We are the Thread......"
Nothing stops, it`s all woven by us from one point, which is our existence, woven exactly like a spiders web, not one break. Turns, weaves and changes of direction, intersections and crosses with other webs, the to make it to the outside only to keep going round and growing with more of the same, but no matter what, it is all ONE strand.
One existence, one web.
Nothing is for nothing.
I`m sitting back right now, looking at my web, woven by me, one strand being my entire manifested existence, every turn and every weave essential to my being.
I`m looking at this web and never have I felt so Blessed in my life. Ever......
Here goes my attempt at explaining the turns and weaves of my web.
I`m waiting for my bath! My girls have taken over the bathroom, soaking themselves, pampering themselves and relaxing. It`s definately the day for it, I watched the sun rise this morning, it was spectacular.
I`ve lit candles on all my Altars, incense burning and now I want a bath!!!!!
I`ve got so much to say, the world just won`t slow down for me, things are just going bang, bang, bang.
Just when I think I`ve caught up....something else presents itself.
I`m going to post the pics of the Ritual from when Lia was here, they require ALOT of explanation, but I`ll get to that, I`ve finally got my head around ALLLLLL of that, I`m not insane i`m happy to say, I`m BLESSED, absolutely.
The post I wrote about "that" Wednesday didn`t work, I`m obviously not meant to give it energy, nobody was hurt and the situation was diffused, so it`s all good anyway.
Oh and for those who are waiting...... I said yes to Ben. I`ll get to that as well.
I`m so engulfed in the Spiritual world right now, it`s hard to remember I`m actually mortal.
It`s the mortal in me that sends me crazzeeeeeeeeeeee.
I`m oing to steal my bathroom back, ponder on how to explain the Ritual, which is/was THE most mindblowing thing that`s ever happened to me...Lia...my kids or Ben, I think we all needed time to recover, and it`s the first time anything like this has happened with others around.
We spent a whole week not even mentioning it, all in our own worlds of dealing with it. I can only imagine what it did to my girls heads, I know it fucked with mine big time.
Ok, pics are going up, I`m going to bathe, then the explanations shall given.
Have a Blessed day, it is indeed a Blessed day today!
The only thing Lia and I differed on was the worship of male Gods, I wouldn`t have any part of it. She worshipped and still does worship Ganesha, to me he`s too high maintainance and I just can`t find it in myself to bow to a man, regardless of who he may be. The only male God I worship is the "Stag man", the Horned God, for he completes all femininity to me.
Lia would tell me every year to get ready for Ganeshas ritual, fashion a clay model of him, decorate it and toss it into the ocean, with the promise of his love and protection.
I`d never do it. To the point we`d get into heated debates over it.
The first time Lia stayed at the circle on her own, she was formally introduced to Ganesh, he came to her through vision in all his glory, so he does indeed have her undying Faith, to me he was just another male who wanted attention.
When I left my husband, I moved back home, to my small country town, kept in touch with Lia, she occasionally has what I call brat attacks, being the younger twin I suppose, and goes into sulking and doesn`t speak to me for months on end. I usually end up badgering her with silly text messages until she calls me up and all is forgiven and forgotten. We have an unconditional bond, the mortal in us just interferes with it at times. So when I moved home she had one of her brat attacks, I`d send her random messages asking if she knew where my hair gel was as I`d misplaced it, silly things like that until she`d call and say I`m an idiot but she loves me.
While I was down home, she sent me a fucking Ganesh incense burner, which I refused to use,it ended up breaking in two, as I took it to the bin I dropped it and trod on it all in one swift motion, cutting my foot open, not the worst cut I`ve ever had, but I lost a lot of blood. Lia laughed and said I served me right, and that Ganesh was making his presense known to me and now he`d taken my blood, look out.
My response was, yeah whatever.
Another time, I`d attempted to stay at the circle on my own, fully aware that it was a stomping ground of Ganesh, I performed a Ritual beckoning the Darkness, what possessed me to do that I`ll still never know, but it ended with me running like a maniac through the woods, with the fire I`d lit hot on my tail, a burning branch had hit me on the back, leaving a scar, the coals from the fire covered my feet,leaving no evidence what so ever, which in iself did my head in, and the blanket I`d intended to sleep on went up in flames.
How any of it happened is still beyond me, one minute I was chanting my Ritual, cut myself with my Athame, dripping blood onto the paper as I went into a meditive state, next thing I`m running like a bitch from the crazy fire.
Dumb to say the least. Lia had warned me not to do it, she had also told me if I was to stay at the circle I should pay some kind of homage to Ganesh.
Yeah whatever I reckoned.
The third time was when I was actually burned. As you`d know by reading the Child of Fire stories, I had a lot of Goddess protection, no Gods.
Before I was burned, Lia had mentioned about the Ganesh holder she`d given me, I threw it out I told her, I wouldn`t be peer pressured into worshipping the elephant! (How disrespectful I know)
Lia flew down to me the day after I was burned, she stayed and did healing Rituals on me for 14 days straight, she was exhausted and could barely walk at the end of it, she gave me every ounce of energy she had, which I still credit my super healing to.
In discussion one day I actually said to her "I blame Ganesh for this, he couldn`t get me at the circle cos the Goddesses had my arse so he did it here".
We let the whole Ganesh conversations go after that......
Although not "blood" (and I use that term loosely) related, we have been Blessed with Soul recognition in this life, we are past life twins that have recognized eachother in this life. Possibly through a pact made in our past incarnate, we don`t know that, what we do know is that we were given the signs to carry over into this life to ensure recognition.
A lot of people think we`re crazy, sensationalizing, melodramatic, whatever...
Once even the most cynical have heard our story, they walk away scratching their heads, possibly still convinced that we are indeed crazy, but no longer the skeptic.
We first met in 2001, we were both in an internet Pagan group, I lived in one state, she lived in another. I was still in a dysfunctional relationship, being beaten and living the worst life I expect one would live before downgrading to a cardboard box. I had no self esteem, I was angry at the world and carried a lot of hate in my heart. Lia on the other hand was a single mum, coping on her own, living a life of freedom and happiness, after recently leaving a potentially abusive relationship as soon as she saw the signs.
The strength and confidence this chick had left me in awe.
Through group discussion, some extremely personal, we formed an internet friendship, she was also the best friend of Craig, who would become my husband in time to follow. Lia turned out to be an absolute tower of strength to me, I started looking forward to getting on the net just to read what she had to say, she was so in control of herself. And for the first time in ten years someone was validating my points, not making fun of them, someone was telling me I WAS a good person, I DID have a great heart and I WAS infact a Goddess, I just had to go within to find Her again.
We started "talking" on internet messenger, the first "conversation" we had on messenger was interrupted half way through by a gas bottle exploding in my backyard, living in suburbia at the time, the whole street ended up being evacuated while the fire brigade dealt with it.
Through the love and support I received through this group, Lia and Craig especially, I found the strength to leave the kids dad, after ten years of abuse, it ended in me having my jaw broken, internal injuries, broken foot and ribs. He made sure his last effort left its mark, it also resulted in him being charged with assault and battery causing grievous bodily harm. And yes he spent an amount of time in jail, not long enough but enough for me to break free.
Soon after that happened Lia got rid of her computer, so we lost touch. I still spoke to Craig on the net regularly so he kept me up to date with her life as he saw her often, and passed her love onto me and mine to her. Craig, being the only male that had said a kind word to me in ten years became a close internet friend. We started talking on the phone.
I`d moved back home to mums with the kids, home being a judgemental Christian town with a population of 230 people. It was just great, I was being judged by the whole town for being a bad mother AND for leaving the kids dad, families should stay together don`t you know.
It was during this time I also met Ben, which is quite a crazy story on its own.
Time passed, I`d gotten to know craig quite well, his mind and beliefs attracted me to him, we decided we should meet, with me living over 1500 kms from him it seemed to be a no win situation, but as Fate would have it, we did meet and our friendship developed into that of a love, not an intense hold your breath love, but I was happy, I`d had enough of passion and the problems that came with it.
During a stay at Craigs, I met Lia.
My whole life, existence, every breath I`d ever taken in this life had led to that point, quite clearly now, Craig was just a catalyst to what was to come.
I walked into her house to find Altars set up here, there and everywhere, the same as I had always done, she was the only person that spoke as I did, referring to the Goddess in most conversations.
But it was no surprise, we`d already realized how alike we were.
What we WERE`NT prepared for was the physical meeting, we`d never seen pics of eachother nor discussed the way we looked, it seemed irrelevant.
The woman I stood facing the day I met Lia was like looking in the mirror, while physically we looked nothing alike, Spiritually we stood as one.
On my right wrist I had a tattoo of a pentagram, I`d gotten it years before when I realized the importance of the symbol to me, thinking I was being original at the time. On Lias right wrist, she had a tattoo of a pentagram, which she`d gotten years ago after realizing the same thing.
On my left wrist I have a tattoo of two crescent moons, back to back, representing the Goddess, again thinking I was original, on her left wrist she has a tattoo of the crescent moons, back to back representing the same thing to her.
On my left shoulder I have a tattoo of the eye of Horus, again representing my Faith and for protection, on her right shoulder she was sporting.... the eye of Horus, again for the same reason.
On her right ankle she has a tattoo of a "T", on my left ankle I have a tattoo of an "S" - hers representing the love of her son, mine representing the sisterhood of Witchcraft, done 3 times in thanks for my 3 kids.
From that day forward we were inseparable, I moved interstate into a relationship with Craig and Spiritually Lia and my sanity was tested on a daily basis. We did rituals together, saw, heard and experienced things that I can`t even begin to explain. We`ve seen inanimate objects move, communicated with the passed, been contacted by Spirits and guides. Our greatest moment of insanity being with my grandmothers ouija board, the thngs we saw, heard and were told that night still lay deep within our minds, undeniable yet unreachable. Both claiming that the experience held a pain, emotion and exhilaration greater than that of child birth.
Time went on and Lia moved in with us, our lives focused on the Spiritual journey we were Blessed with, knowing we had a connection but still unaware of the depths.
We were contacted one day,out of the blue by a clairvoyant we both knew of but not on a personal level, she was told she had a message to pass onto us. The meditation she had received from a guide named "Annabelle" explained everything there was to know about us, our pact, how our Souls were tattooed for recognition, this woman told us things we`d done and things that were to come, which did, down to the point that unless she had hidden cameras in our minds, there was no chance of her knowing this.
She even told me about the mirror I`d been making in secret as a gift for Lia, and said to pay attention to the symbology of the gift I had in the making, "be it of reflection."
Other things began to fall into place as well, we had mirrored eachothers lives from the day we were born iinto this life. The man she`d left, who was the potential abuser, was born on the 16th December, as was my kids abusive father. It was like we were being shown a parallel world, eachother being as one.
This writing is doing no justice to who we are, but is a VERY brief outline, to go into depth over every single thing would take Eternity, which is what we are living in.
I know, I know. I`ve taken ages to get to this, if the world would slow down maybe JUST MAYBE I could get my head around some stuff!!
Blah blah blah.
Ok, THAT Wednesday...of the week that it just ROCKED to be me. LOL.
Who am I kidding, it always rocks to be me.
Wednesday morning, I wake from a lovely sleep, the energy in the house was soooooo peaceful. Dan was home from work, the girls home from school. I can`t even remember why, but we were all here and everyone was happy!
Dan was in bed, the girls on the verandah playing with the cats/kittens (we have 10 now!), Ben and I sitting on the sun lounges enjoying a cup of coffee, looking out at our eternally beautiful surroundings. I believe I`d just said the words " I`m in love with todays energy, doesn`t it feel so peaceful"
For the first time in so long there weren`t wee ones crying, being abused, there wasn`t discontented parents fighting and bitching. All you could hear was the birds and the girls occasional giggle at a kittens cute antics.
I was in a peace-trance state of mind, lapping up the energy of the day, when a big black 4 wheeler comes SCREAMING down our drive way, honking its horn madly.
What the ****???
It comes to an abrupt halt, and out climbs Colleen, swinging an iron fucking bar and screaming obscenities before she even reaches the front gate.
"Fucken great" I sigh and get to my feet, Bens already at the end of the verandah, my girls standing stunned by his side.
By the time I get to the steps, Colleen is at the bottom of the steps POINTING the bar at Nat, my youngest,
